So today I decided to start a blog. Why? Because I had this really fabulous column which I loved to write, and later published as a book, called "A View from a Broad." You can buy a book of this very title at http://www.aviewfromabroad.net/. I'm only saying this because if I don't say it, invariably there will be someone who knows me that will say, "Why the hell didn't you tell us where to get the book? No wonder you're not famous, you don't know how to market!" Or there's the other group that will say, "Jesus, talk about a marketing whore - can you not talk about SELLING anything for at least two paragraphs? Christ." So pick your group. Or choose to think "out of the book."
Now, let's get down to business. I'm going to use this blog to chronicle my every day life; i.e, e.g., e.g.g. hard boiled: what happens to me in a day. That's it.
I live in South Florida so there's never a shortage of characters and incidences (or dare I say - "incidi"?) to report upon. Actually, I believe wherever you live, as a member of the human race and observing the same, there's always a unique take on any situation to be seen from different vantage points, except of course online dating, which in all areas and time zones is full of freaks, liars, and sexual perverts. Oh yes, I'm right. But I digress. So let the dame begin.
Friday, April 17, 2009
Dear Fabulous Readers,
8:00 am. Started the day by waking up and thanking God I didn't have any of my usual dreams of madness and mayhem, like: trying to outrun tsunamis, being served barbecued penis, or realizing I just washed the winning lottery ticket with my place mats.
9:30 am. Went to the gym for my Powerflex class. Our gay instructor, loves to BLAST Madonna, ad infinitum. A gay guy that blasts Madonna? Get out! I believe I have a front row seat at the Gay Cliche Concert. I take the next class from him as well - urban rebounding - also done to the tune of the Gap-Toothed One. In case you don't know - urban rebounding is basically jumping on a mini-trampoline. But it sounds like it could mean you got mugged by some guys in the hood, then you jumped your ass up and ran off really fast. Urban rebounding. Either way, it's great cardio.
Now, let's get down to business. I'm going to use this blog to chronicle my every day life; i.e, e.g., e.g.g. hard boiled: what happens to me in a day. That's it.
I live in South Florida so there's never a shortage of characters and incidences (or dare I say - "incidi"?) to report upon. Actually, I believe wherever you live, as a member of the human race and observing the same, there's always a unique take on any situation to be seen from different vantage points, except of course online dating, which in all areas and time zones is full of freaks, liars, and sexual perverts. Oh yes, I'm right. But I digress. So let the dame begin.
Friday, April 17, 2009
Dear Fabulous Readers,
8:00 am. Started the day by waking up and thanking God I didn't have any of my usual dreams of madness and mayhem, like: trying to outrun tsunamis, being served barbecued penis, or realizing I just washed the winning lottery ticket with my place mats.
9:30 am. Went to the gym for my Powerflex class. Our gay instructor, loves to BLAST Madonna, ad infinitum. A gay guy that blasts Madonna? Get out! I believe I have a front row seat at the Gay Cliche Concert. I take the next class from him as well - urban rebounding - also done to the tune of the Gap-Toothed One. In case you don't know - urban rebounding is basically jumping on a mini-trampoline. But it sounds like it could mean you got mugged by some guys in the hood, then you jumped your ass up and ran off really fast. Urban rebounding. Either way, it's great cardio.
10:45 am and the rest of the day After the gysim, as I fondly call it, I returned home to try and solve an issue I was having with my home Urban Rebounder. I recently purchased my own Urban Rebounder so I could continue my exercise fanaticism at any hour of the day, in the privacy of my own home. Because should I wake up at say, 3:00 am and decide - Hey! I think I need an hour of intense cardio to lull me back to sleep -viola! I'm covered.
So I get the rebounder, and set it up and all is well, until...the SMELL!!! What the Sam Hill?! The black rubber tips at the end of the rebounder's legs smelled like shit! Actually, that's wrong. They smelled like burning tires. Worse. Awful. And I had read online, during my rebounder research - which I obviously blatantly ignored - that some of the rubber tips stink. Due to chemical manufacturing. People had complained. How weird it that? But how weird is this? I had a music stand with rubber tips that also stank. It's the black rubber's chemicals. It is the grossest smell ever! I'd rather smell Brut cologne on my uncle. Or would I? Eh, it's a repulsive tie.
Long story short - I called the place where I ordered the rebounder to see if I could get this resolved, and they said, rather disbelievingly, and may I add, rather curtly - that they never heard of smelly rubber leg tips. Please! Like I would make up a stinky rubber tip story! I have better things to do. Well maybe not better - but a lot less stupid. And more fragrant.
I tried to store the rebounder under my couch, but the place started smelling so bad, I had to store it on my patio. I figure, I can just bring it in when I need it. Meanwhile, my patio smells like a pit stop at the Indy 500. I guess I'll live with it. Shipping it back will cost me $30.
On an artistic note:
I'm working on a painting of the Hemingway House in Key West. I love that place. Hemingway shot himself in the head. Maybe if he had just gone back there one more time....it might have just been his foot.
Love you,
Anna
So I get the rebounder, and set it up and all is well, until...the SMELL!!! What the Sam Hill?! The black rubber tips at the end of the rebounder's legs smelled like shit! Actually, that's wrong. They smelled like burning tires. Worse. Awful. And I had read online, during my rebounder research - which I obviously blatantly ignored - that some of the rubber tips stink. Due to chemical manufacturing. People had complained. How weird it that? But how weird is this? I had a music stand with rubber tips that also stank. It's the black rubber's chemicals. It is the grossest smell ever! I'd rather smell Brut cologne on my uncle. Or would I? Eh, it's a repulsive tie.
Long story short - I called the place where I ordered the rebounder to see if I could get this resolved, and they said, rather disbelievingly, and may I add, rather curtly - that they never heard of smelly rubber leg tips. Please! Like I would make up a stinky rubber tip story! I have better things to do. Well maybe not better - but a lot less stupid. And more fragrant.
I tried to store the rebounder under my couch, but the place started smelling so bad, I had to store it on my patio. I figure, I can just bring it in when I need it. Meanwhile, my patio smells like a pit stop at the Indy 500. I guess I'll live with it. Shipping it back will cost me $30.
On an artistic note:
I'm working on a painting of the Hemingway House in Key West. I love that place. Hemingway shot himself in the head. Maybe if he had just gone back there one more time....it might have just been his foot.
Love you,
Anna
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